how to be happy

Am I Happy in My Relationship?

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Some of you out there see your relationships as a guide to happiness. You may feel that by having a good relationship you are choosing happiness. But what is happiness, really, and how do we get there if we are in a less than happy relationship?

I’ve known quite a few men and women who think that having a good partner is the one thing that will bring complete and utter happiness. They see things in their partner that they themselves would like be. It may be that they want to make a lot of money or are good looking or both and because they perceive their partner to be this way, they believe these things will come to them and this will bring happiness. For whatever reason they’re convinced that their partner can somehow make them happy as a result of all of these external things. Aside from the ego issues, the problem with thinking that your partner can “make” you be happy is: “What does that make you? Unhappy?”

If you are not happy on the inside then how can any external condition. partner or otherwise “make” you be happy. This is false reasoning. Happiness is not external no matter how hard (and we certainly try hard) we try to make it so.

©Christina Florence – October 2010

Sweet Dreams are Made of This

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I woke up in the middle of the night last night with the worst anxiety in the pit of my stomach. The space between my eyes wrinkled up so hard it felt like I had Sharpei there. “Why, why” I asked as I tossed and turned while my husband snoozed peacefully beside me.

“I’m usually so happy, what is going on?” I decided to ask the wrinkles between my eyes. “What is this frowning about? Don’t you know you are making me look old?” To my surprise my wrinkles talked back! This is what they said: “You are afraid of your future and you don’t know what to do” “Oh no, not you again” I thought. That voice in my head that is always the bearer of bad news.

For an hour or so I just lay there fretting about my future and accepting the fact that I was not going to get another wink of sleep that night. Then I remembered my happy arrows. “Oh, right” I said and shot myself through and through. Soon I was drifting off into a blissful sleep and my future seemed so bright I would have to wear shades. If it sounds like I was shooting drugs, I sort of was, if you call happiness a drug.

Here’s how it works.

Happy Arrows
Imagine that the negative feelings are dark clouds over head. Imagine that you have beside you a bow and a quiver of arrows. Take up your bow and pull out an arrow. Notice that the arrow is a bright shade of yellow (the color of sunshine). Now, shoot the arrow into the clouds. Notice what happens. Do the clouds give way to sunshine? Next, put a picture of yourself in front of you (in your mind) and start shooting the yellow happy arrows at the image of yourself. As the arrows hit see them melt and pour yellow softness down your entire body. Keep doing this until the image of you that you are shooting at begins to smile and you feel happy.

This is such a simple little trick to dispel anxiety any time of the day or night, so simple you wouldn’t think I would forget it. But there I was feeling needlessly miserable for over an hour when I could have just grabbed my arrows and been done with it and sleeping peacefully.

You, too, can have a peaceful night’s sleep. Next time anxiety wakes you in the night (or in the day) remember this little trick. Your happy arrows are always at your side.

©Christina Florence – February 2008

 

New Year’s Resolutions That Stick – Your Perfect Weight!

Christina Florence, , , , , , , 1 Comment

This year instead of telling yourself you should, need, have, or must resolve to change something, try one of my quick change exercises.

These are fun, easy exercises taken from my book “The Magic of Zero” and you can take them with you anywhere.

After a holiday season of the Christmas Cookie diet, let’s start with everyone’s favorite topic, weight loss.

The Magic Mirror:
Start by sitting comfortably where you won’t be disturbed, (yes, shut off the cell phone). Close your eyes. Take several deep, complete breaths and picture yourself going down a flight of stairs. At the bottom of the stairs picture a room with many doors. Each door has a sign above it. Go to the door with the sign that reads “My Perfect Weight”. Go through the door and find yourself in a beautiful room. In this room is a closet. In the closet you will find beautiful clothing that is exactly what you love and in the exact size you want to be. Take an outfit off the hangar and drape it over your arm. Turn around and see your reflection in the full length mirror. What do you see? Do you see your self the way you are? Do you see yourself at all? If you don’t like what you see, no matter, we are about to change it!

Along the bottom edge of this mirror are 4 knobs you can turn and one button that says “Save”. The first knob on your left will sharpen your image. Turn it and see your image become crystal clear. The next knob will make the colors brighter. The one in the middle will control the horizontal. Keep turning it until you see yourself at the size you want, then press the “Save” button.

The next 2 knobs control the background. Create a background the way you want it. Whatever makes you feel thin. Is it walking? Dancing? Eating well? Lets choose “Eating Well”. Turn the 4th knob and a table and chair appears in the background. The table is covered with luscious, vibrantly healthy foods. Vegetables, fish, grains, fruits.

Put on the clothes you have been holding and imagine yourself stepping into your new image in the mirror. Feel how it feels to be this thinner body. Take a seat at the table and begin eating. Savor the goodness of these healthy foods. Take your time. They really taste great. When you are finished eating stand up and go back through the mirror and into the room. Turn around and admire again the beautiful you you have created. Press “Save” one more time. Now leave the room, walk back up the stairs and into your life as the new thinner you.

Visualize yourself in the mirror everyday for 2 weeks. It takes to weeks to create a habit. Some people find that in 2 weeks they begin to associate themselves with eating better and being at the weight that they want. For people who have trouble visualizing a thinner self find a picture of the body you would like and paste a picture of your head on it. Place this picture where you can see it everyday.

For those who want other exercises, please see my book “The Magic of Zero” available at Amazon.

©Christina Florence – January 2008