choosing happiness

Anchors Away!!

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Here is the 5th installment on how to choose happiness.
Use energy exercises to shift your outlook from sad to happy. I have 20 exercises in my book, “Be Alive in Five” about EFT (emotional freedom technique) and NLP (neuro linguistic programming).
Here is an easy exercise from my book:
ANCHORING (NLP exercise)

1. Let’s start with what is called “break state” – to clear your mind and prepare for the anchoring process. Count backwards five numbers starting anywhere (for instance 67, 66, 65, 64, and 63).
2. Think of a time when you felt totally relaxed and confident.Think of something that is the opposite of the problem state, for example, if the problem is fear of speaking to an audience, you could think of yourself talking and laughing with family or friends.
3. While you are remembering this place of relaxed speaking put the thumb and middle finger of either hand together (this is the “anchor”) and hold it there for about 20 seconds while you keep remembering that relaxed state. This anchors the feeling for later use.
Do this two or three times to to create and strengthen your positive anchor.
4. Release the thumb and forefinger after 20 seconds. Repeat step one to end the session. You have now created your anchor.
“Fire off” your anchor any time you are about to go into the fearful speaking situation by placing the same thumb and middle finger together to recreate that relaxed state.
Anchors stay in place for five or six days, so I recommended that you repeat the above process five days or less before an important event.
The use of anchors has truly changed my life and the lives of many others.

Banking your Anchors:
When you are feeling good or happy or content, remember to just put your thumb and middle finger together for 20 seconds! I call this “Banking Anchors” because it is like putting a deposit in your happy bank to use at a later time. There is no limit to the amount of deposits you can put in your happy bank so go ahead – bank those anchors!
You don’t have to feel bad. Remember Happiness is a CHOICE!!!
I hope it was fun and easy to access your inner happiness using these tips.
for these tips and more be sure check out my book, Be Alive in Five at Amazon.com.

©Christina Florence – June 2012

Am I Happy in My Relationship?

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Some of you out there see your relationships as a guide to happiness. You may feel that by having a good relationship you are choosing happiness. But what is happiness, really, and how do we get there if we are in a less than happy relationship?

I’ve known quite a few men and women who think that having a good partner is the one thing that will bring complete and utter happiness. They see things in their partner that they themselves would like be. It may be that they want to make a lot of money or are good looking or both and because they perceive their partner to be this way, they believe these things will come to them and this will bring happiness. For whatever reason they’re convinced that their partner can somehow make them happy as a result of all of these external things. Aside from the ego issues, the problem with thinking that your partner can “make” you be happy is: “What does that make you? Unhappy?”

If you are not happy on the inside then how can any external condition. partner or otherwise “make” you be happy. This is false reasoning. Happiness is not external no matter how hard (and we certainly try hard) we try to make it so.

©Christina Florence – October 2010

Am I Happy?

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Am I happy?

I believe that every one of us should be choosing happiness every day. The question is, how to be happy? One important element in choosing to be happy is laughter. Laughter has a many benefits for our mind and our body. Even if it is a reaction which is regulated by the brain, our body needs laughter as much as our mind does!

We all love someone who can make us laugh. I myself am a laugh junkie. I love to laugh! If you have a sense of humor, don’t be stingy with it, share it. Not only will you feel better but you’ll also find that you will have more friends. Laughter releases endorphins, which suppress pain, and plain old “makes ya feel good.” It boosts our immune system and, as recently discovered, plays a role in healing. Laughter integrates both sides of our brain.

The best way to find laughter is to watch a funny movie, or find a comedian that makes you laugh and rent DVDs of them. Remember the now famous story of how Norman Cousins laughed his way back to health from death’s door? I’m serious! You can read all about it in his book, Anatomy of an Illness.

A sense of humor will help you rise to any challenge, handle the unexpected with ease, and come out of any difficulty with a smile. Humor isn’t just about telling jokes. Humor is the way we view the world. We can be honest about life without taking it quite so seriously. We can laugh at ourselves, at our mistakes and pain.

Louis Kronenberger explains: “Humor simultaneously wounds and heals, indicts and pardons, diminishes and enlarges; it constitutes inner growth at the expense of outer gain, and those who possess and honestly practice it make themselves more through willingness to make themselves less.” The most wasted day is a day in which we have not laughed!

©Christina Florence – September 2010

Do You Wake Up Happy?

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I do. At least now I do.

For many years however I did not. I would open my eyes and before I was even aware of having a thought I would feel like I had a fist in my stomach. A feeling of dread, of fear and anxiety, and I haven’t even gotten out of bed yet. Yeah, nice way to start your day!

So what changed? What changed was I worked really hard to change it. I knew this feeling was literally ruining my day and my life. I would not let myself get out of bed until I had changed that horrible feeling of dread to a feeling of anticipation for what the day would bring. How?

Try this: When you first open your eyes focus on your solar plexus area. That is where your feelings are. If you notice even the slightest feeling of discomfort, you must distract yourself immediately. This whole thing sounds insane but trust me on this: sing a song in your head or sing it out loud. As I said this may seem REALLY silly, however it changes your focus and has been proven to work.

Tony Robbins, a well-known motivational speaker, says that in order to change a behavior you have to do the opposite even if it feels weird. So find a song that makes you smile and visualize yourself singing and dancing to it. My songs (and don’t laugh) are “My Favorite Things” and “Get This Party Started”!

Oops! I just Googled “happy songs” and guess what folks, I couldn’t find any recent ones. All of the ones I did find were from the fifties and earlier. Were people just happier then? Alright, back up here. Just think of a tune that makes you feel good and add your own words to it, words that have a positive, uplifting feeling to them. It is impossible to feel bad while you are singing a happy song because your mind is focused on the lyrics.

I dare you to try this for one week!

If you want other suggestions for starting the day off right, check out my book, “The Magic of Zero” at Amazon.com.

©Christina Florence – January 2008

Sunshine & Lollipops – The Freedom To Be Happy

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Giving Yourself Permission to Be Happy.

What does this mean and why do we need permission? And who are we asking permission from, anyway?

Well, it seems that we in America (I can’t speak for other countries) have lost contact with the fundamentals of life here on earth. Our air and water are compromised as is our food. Our feet rarely touch the earth. We are plugged in yet disconnected. We are stressed and consumed by fear. Many of us are caught up in a daily existence that focuses on obtaining “happiness” from some place “out there”. Where, in reality, The Only Way Out Is In.

I had a client recently who said this to me:

“I feel lost in a sea of confusion. I want I want I want. It seems that all I want is to have “things”. I don’t seem happy just to be. That is what needs to change for me. I wish I could just wake up one day happy and never look back. Or never feel bad again. Instead I have a list of things I want.”

She continued, “I think ‘If I only had a bigger house I would be happy, if I only had a better car I would be happy”…but I got a beautiful car and felt happy for about a month. Then it was on to the next thing. I spend hours on the web trying to find something. What? WHAT? What am I looking for? It is like I need to always be in pursuit of something to be happy. If there is nothing to look for there is nothing to live for. This is a terrible dilemma and it is a trap. I also think that if I had more money I would be happy.”

MONEY!

Don’t you think my client might have it backwards? How about when she is happy, she will automatically generate more of everything she wants, including money!

How, then, do we feel grateful for what we have with out feeling that need for something more? Its not that we can’t want or have things. But, the pursuit of these things should not define our very existence.

Life is just a continual merry go round of “next” “next” “next” Until we stop wanting and start living we will never be happy! What we are doing is delaying gratification so that we will only be happy someplace out in the future. Fill in the blank; I will be happy when I am __________________________. Then, in a New York minute, you are 95 and that blank got really long.

Instead hop out of bed each day and remind yourself that the most important thing is to be joyful, happy and fulfilled PERIOD! From there everything, and I mean EVERYTHING else will take care of itself.

OK, I can hear you laughing now. So, all you skeptics out there, tune in next week for the next installment of Freedom to be Happy or How You Too can have Sunshine and Lollipops all day long.

©Christina Florence – January 2008